Focus on What We Do Have
It’s very easy to get frustrated and upset with your life circumstances when things aren’t going your way. Very easy.
Unfortunately, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. I’ve been doing a lot of whining and complaining and asking God “hey, when is it our turn?” It accomplishes all sorts of negativity and creates a distinct focus on what we don’t have, what isn’t going according to plan. When you focus on what you don’t have, of course, it just leads to more frustration and upset. Vicious cycle.
I hit such a black cloud of complaint several days ago, I even found that negativity affecting our little garden. Remember our lovely sunflower? The cruel and wicked universe even conspired against our successful gardening efforts. Just look at her now…
A few days ago, smack in the middle of storming around and complaining about all that wasn’t right with my world, I came across several bits of…I don’t know. Wisdom? Comfort?
I read Essie’s post on Trust the other day. The title grabbed my attention because I know I haven’t trusted anyone enough lately. Not me, not God, not anybody. It’s embarrassing, really, to say so, but there’s that old lesson again…the truth can always be told. Anyway, Essie talked about drawing strength from Proverbs 3:5.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of Him, and He will make straight your paths.” (NAB)
Yup, that’s exactly what I need to do more of. Oh, and when I turned to that section of my own Bible? The subhead for Proverbs 3 is “Attitude toward the Lord.” Mine was pretty bad that day. So noted.
The next thing that caught my attention was a few lines from Tamar Adler’s book. I hadn’t read any of it for quite a few days and decided to sit and enjoy just one chapter. On the last page of that particular chapter, titled “How to Snatch Victory from the Jaws of Defeat,” I found these words:
“And then there is the art of letting go. Being moved to surrender is an act of grace. Be glad today’s failure is behind you. Know that the next time, whether because you’ve learned how to avoid it or just to look at it differently, it won’t be as bad. … Perhaps deciding you’ll still have a delicious meal, burned, salty, spicy, oily, broken, undercooked plan be damned, will be your victory today.”
Indeed. Substitute whatever word you like for failure – disappointment, heartbreak, frustration – and put it in the context of life, not food. It works. I told you that book has far more inside than meets the eye.
My next slice of wisdom came from the Fab Hub himself. As I was wrapped up in reciting a litany of all the things that are weighing on my mind right now, he very simply pointed out that while those things very well may be true scenarios and indeed may be things that are “don’t have’s” right now, we still have an awful lot of “have’s.” He proceeded to point out several. He’s right, of course. As my Grandfather used to tell us, “No matter how bad you think things might be right now, there is always someone worse off than you.” And he was right, too, of course. There are a lot of problems that we don’t have and a lot of things that have not gone wrong over the last year. We are more blessed than some of us (ahem…me) remember sometimes.
And finally, my little deck garden (and even my kitchen) offered me one last reminder that if we just have a little hope, and a lot of faith, all is not lost. We can focus on the wilted basil or we can make pesto. We can mourn the dying sunflower or we can watch and wait for the one that is about to bloom…
All things happen in due time.
Yes, you, your husband and grandfather are right! Sometimes one has to change ones perspective and take stock of what we have instead of what we don’t.
Admittedly, that’s the more difficult path to take sometimes, isn’t it?
We all fall down and dwell in a pit of despair sometimes. Isn’t it funny how God puts the exact words of wisdom we need in our grasp, enabling us to climb our way back out?
The time in the pit makes the light so much brighter and our vision so much clearer when we get out. So glad that you are on your way back to feeling refreshed and restored
I have always said that God puts the smack upside the head right where we need it and just when we need it most.
LOVE THIS. So glad we’ve become bloggy friends. 🙂
Me too! 🙂
When feeling overwhelmed by what I don’t have, I often can’t break the mental cycle to see what I do possess. Good for your husband in being able to point out very specific things for you to be grateful for. I know that for me, being grateful for abstract concepts just doesn’t cut it.
Hopefully as your new sunflower blossoms new light will shine on some of your other blessings.
My husband is always the logical one. This is a very good pairing, since I am always the emotional one. (Mostly over-emotional!) It’s a balance that works.
It can be so hard to focus on all the good stuff when you are overwhelmed with the bad stuff. I’m glad you found a different perspective. Hey, the flowers are always going to wither. Your new bud looks healthy and strong, though. New blooms in life (and plants) will always be just around the corner. Keep your spirits up 🙂
I went outside and did a little bit of pruning and deadheaded that nasty sunflower – it was beyond salvage and never did go to seed. Fab Hub got nervous, but I assured him it will be fine (I hope). We have a second new bud today, too. 🙂
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