Conversations with Kidzilla – How to Have a Happy Marriage
I love having conversations with my daughter.
For starters, Zilla is a rather skilled conversationalist for a six-year-old. The kid knows how to have a discussion. She also has a wicked sense of humor and near-perfect comedic timing and delivery. She often stops me dead in my tracks with a snappy one-liner. But in addition to all that, Zilla often spews forth a few gems of wisdom that are worth taking to heart.
Over the last few weeks, we have been talking off and on about marriage and relationships. She’s filing things away in her brain about husbands and wives, moms and dads, when it’s OK to kiss a boy and when it most assuredly is not.
Like on the playground, for example. Or ever, if you ask her father.
Zilla caught the Hub and I in mid-smooch in the kitchen a few days ago, stopped dead in her tracks, and said, “What are you doing?”
Me: Making dinner.
Z: Um, that’s not making dinner. I think you’re kissing.
Me: Correct.
Z: Well, you should probably do that a lot if you’re married.
Good idea.
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A few weeks ago, the Hub and I dumped lovingly placed Zilla in the care of relatives so we could enjoy a date night to celebrate our anniversary. We decided to go out for a quiet dinner. Alone. You know the kind of dinner I’m talking about – the kind where you don’t have to cut anyone’s food or say things like “please take the alligator off the table now.”
Zilla wanted to know why she wasn’t going to dinner with us. We explained it to her. It’s important for parents to have time alone together, to enjoy each other’s company, to talk about grown-up things…etc.
“I see,” she said. “So ‘quiet dinner’ means no Zilla.”
Bingo.
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Some of my best chats with Zilla happen during the nightly bath and bedtime hour. She’s just a bit too young to be left to her own devices in a room with access to running water, so I supervise. And we talk.
On one such occasion, we were talking about why the first grade is far too early to decide who your husband will be and why it’s important to wait until you’re a grownup. We talked about the things a person should do before getting married and what to look for in a spouse. We talked about how the Hub and I met and how we decided to get married.
Zilla told me she already understood what was important for a good marriage.
Me: Really.
Z: Yes.
Me: OK…go ahead.
Z: Well, when you get married, some things don’t matter.
Me: Like what?
(And please imagine, if you will, this delivered in one breath, without pause, as Zilla so often delivers her oratory.)
Z: Like it doesn’t matter what they look like or what color eyes or hair or skin or anything they have. It doesn’t matter what their body looks like or if they are hairy or how they smell. It doesn’t matter what you believe about religion or jobs. It doesn’t matter if one person likes vegetables and one person just likes…meatballs. It doesn’t matter if you like different things or think different things. What matters is that you love them and that you get the pets. It’s important to get pets. And it doesn’t matter if one person likes dogs or one person likes cats. It just matters that you love them.
Me: The pets or the person you marry?
Z: Well, both. But mostly the pets. Because they don’t know how to take care of themselves and clean up their own poop. Most husbands know how to do that.
Me: Well I would certainly hope so. Because, you know, if they can’t, then maybe you don’t want them for a husband.
Z: I know.
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Well, friends, there you have it – Kidzilla’s advice for a happy marriage. I particularly enjoy the part about how you should get pets, although this week I’m not so sure. Come back for the Friday Five and I’ll tell you why you might want to consider the question of pets very carefully.
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I think the pets part is well thought out and inspiring really, even if they are cats. Oh and the meatball part, definitely agree about the meatballs. xo Douglas
Dear Douglas, we think you’re pretty wise, even if you are a dog. Can’t agree on the meatballs, though. Now tuna balls…there you have something.
Love, the Rotten Cats
Hilarious. I like Zilla. She’d be a great children’s book 🙂
I think so, too! We’re working on that. 😉
Out of the mouths of babes. She is so wise. Except for the “how they smell” part. When she’s older, she’ll learn about pheromones, though. 🙂
True. She has yet to experience real boy smell. 😀
You know, I think kids in general are wise. Look at those things she said – none of matters to kids. They are naturally accepting and compassionate with one another. They have to be taught to be otherwise. There’s a song from a musical – I think it’s South Pacific – about just that. “You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear…You’ve got to be taught to be afraid of people whose eyes are oddly made, and people whose skin is a diff’rent shade…to hate all the people your relatives hate..,” That is all learned behavior. Sad, but true.
The world according to a 6 year old is a very wonderful place to be. Lots of smooching and pet loving – Perfect. And the husband cleans up after the pets – even better. Happy Anniverary.
Sure makes thing seems practical and straightforward. And around here, the Hub does clean up after the pets – it’s a pretty sweet deal!
I think Zilla is onto something there! Isn’t it amazing what kids see and process. And oh, if it could only stay so simple. Love this, Lisa!
Thanks, Sandy. And HI! How are you???
It really is amazing to see the world, people, through a child’s eyes. Opens mine a lot!
I love kids’ perspectives on adult behaviors. (Not the right word, but it’s almost bedtime.) If only I would have known about the cleaning up after pets part before I met Bryan. I’d be hauling a lot fewer dead pigs around, I’ll tell you that much! 🙂
Yeah, I think the who cleans up after the pets part could be a deal-breaker! Maybe sometimes it’s better if we don’t know all the terms ahead of time… 😀
Good night!
AW!!! I just love that! Zilla has many good points!!! This is just too cute… You got me thinking about what my kids would say if I asked them a bit more specific question- hmm…
I feel a post coming on!!! Thanks TO YOU!!! I always love finding out what our kids are learning through our own marriage and behaviors… you are teaching that girl some AMAZING things about love. <3
Woohoo – I gave you an idea! How cool.
Here’s the thing about those conversations with Zilla, Chris. They are generally not the result of me asking a pointed question. This is the stuff that just pops in and out of her little head. Fascinating.
And thanks. I sure hope we’re teaching her some good stuff.
Simply delightful and wise beyond her years! I especially agree about pets, but I wouldn’t marry anyone who truly disliked cats! 🙂
She’s hilarious and smart, too. If you spent an hour in her company you’d be highly entertained. Probably good to have an agreement on pets, although I have to admit I was a cat-hater when we got married. We got cats by default – the Hub likes both dogs and cats but we knew our lifestyle would never work for a dog. Cats it was. Have you read the post about how we ended up with all three? It’s a good one.
My hope for Zilla is that she marries a man who WILL clean up the poop! She’s a wise one! And I love the 3 Rotten Cats illustration 🙂
Having the man do poop duty is a definite plus. Sadly, all cat poop related incidents in recent history have landed on MY watch. Grr.
Zilla really is wise. I’m always amazed at what wisdom comes out of kids in general. I just love that she seems to “get” things that many adults don’t. Maybe kids get this stuff and just unlearn it somewhere along the way. Unfortunate.
But on a lighter note, the Rotten Cats are going to show up here on Friday, so make sure you and Ruby and the boys come back and check.
[…] owe you a smoothie story and the two soups. I’m way behind on Soup of the Week. I have some more of Kidzilla’s wisdom to share, and lots more in process in the drafts […]
[…] owe you a smoothie story and the two soups. I’m way behind on Soup of the Week. I have some more of Kidzilla’s wisdom to share, and lots more in process in the drafts […]