Friday Five – Why My Cat is an @$$hole
Anyone who says animals do not have personalities has never lived with one.
Anyone who says cats do not do things intentionally for spite has never lived with my cat. You see, Cat One, as he is known here, has an attitude problem.
Let’s get one thing clear straight away: he isn’t overly pampered. None of the Rotten Cats are. They are loved and cared for and petted and snuggled as is appropriate. But they have been informed by The Management here that they are, in fact, cats, and not the supreme rulers of the house and the universe.
Cat One disagrees.
If he does not like the level, cleanliness, freshness, or temperature of the water in his dish, he will let you know. Occasionally, he will sit politely and quietly and give you the pleading eyeballs. But if you don’t happen to be right nearby to heed his request, he will scoot the ceramic bowl along the ceramic tile floor. That makes a lot of noise if you are in the dining room directly below the bathroom where his water dishes are located. This is how he lets you know that he requires service.
Did I mention that we have to keep water dishes – two of them – in our upstairs bathroom because Cat One will not drink from the water bowl in the kitchen like the rest of the Rotten Cats? He shares the bathroom bowls with his brothers very nicely, thank you. But for whatever reason, he will not drink the water in the kitchen.
![20150121_114501[1]](http://www.themeaningofme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/20150121_1145011.jpg)
If you are in his chair, he will holler at you. Cat One has a particular chair upon which he plants himself daily. Do not sit in his chair lest you be upbraided for your sin. Should you do something like remove him from the chair so you can use it he will sit and stare at you in an effort to get you to move.
![20150116_110203[1]](http://www.themeaningofme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/20150116_1102031-e1421545286428.jpg)
He leaves tokens of his displeasure about his environment. Should Cat One prefer that you leave a door open for him and it’s closed, he will howl. If you do not obey and open the door, you will be brought a giftie from the litter box. He will place it strategically near the offending door so you understand clearly what he wants. If we run out of their favorite cat food and the Hub does not replace it fast enough, another giftie. It’s disgusting, really, but you have to be at least a little impressed that he so clearly communicates how he’s feeling.
He’s also very skilled at shunning us. If he wants us to know he’s irritated with one or more of us, he will turn around and refuse to look at us. And just to make sure we don’t miss the message, he chooses to do it where he knows I least enjoy seeing his tuchus – the kitchen table.
![20150114_115653[1]](http://www.themeaningofme.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/20150114_1156531-e1421988239150.jpg)
He refuses to avoid things that he knows make him sick. Either that or he’s a complete moron. Cat One is a compulsive plastic shopping bag eater. If there is one anywhere in the house that is unsecured, he will eat as much of it as he can before you catch him. We have to guard and hide every bag that comes into the house. Even the tiniest lick of a bag will send him into yerf mode. You would think a cat smart enough to run the household as tightly he does could figure out that plastic makes him puke.
Apparently not.
I could go on, but as this is a Friday Five, we’ll call this a list. Use your imagination, though, to guess all the other wonderful things he does that are just oh so obnoxious.
Your turn: What strange personality quirks does your pet have? What does your pet do that drives you up the wall?
Want to read more about the three Rotten Cats and their antics? Hit my tag cloud, click on Rotten Cats, and be prepared to laugh!
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Frist.
Boo-yah.
🙂
Haha. You’re pretty funny jumping in there to be FRIST, Hon. Thanks for being my “frist” reader always. 🙂
I love cats. But currently I only have one cat because she will not tollerate shareing my love with another cat. She tends to take over my table when i’m writing and decides that this is the best time to play.
What’s more your cat looks exactly like mine, of which I’m gonna put a photo up on my blog today with my 10 ToT post.
🙂 loved this.
Funny! Yes, Cat One often likes to “help” when I’m writing or working. He sits behind the laptop screen and pokes his head around if I’m at the table. In the office, my desk is near a half-wall and he’ll sit there to supervise.
Can’t wait to see the picture of your cat! I’ll definitely look forward to the TToT post.
My dogs refuse to drink out of the same water bowl but they have no problem drinking out of dirty rain puddles. Your cats rule you. I can’t help but really like them, what characters!
How bizarre. But do the dogs drink out of the same puddles? Or do they not share there, too?
My cats are incredibly likeable – they really are characters. 😀
Hahaha, I can totally relate to this. We have to cats and one of them is a right asshole. To be honest, I think I spoilt him too much when he was a kitten and now he demands attention. The trouble is, he is so damn cute, so it’s hard to get angry at him.
Ah, see, that’s the problem, Dannii. They really are so cute and so entertaining. Even when I’m angry at them…I’m really not. 😀
I love my granddog, Cobee, like he was mine. But the only pet we’ve every had around this house was Go-Go, My Walking Pup, the remote controlled white fluffy dog given to my daughter by Santa when she was three. Invariably, Mama (me) would step in Go-Go’s water bowl every single day. I wonder what ever happened to Go-Go?
Hmm…I’m thinking maybe Go-Go shouldn’t have had a water bowl at all?
Are granddogs like grandkids? Spoil them when they’re with you, then send them home to their parents when they’re tired and cranky? 😀
This just makes me like our farm and the “all animals stay outside” rule we have here. 🙂
We tried rules. No cats on furniture. No cats on beds. No cats sleep where people sleep.
Pfft.
When I need a vacation from the cats, can I come to your farm?
I’ve never owned pets myself (mostly because my asshole tolerance is below sea level) but my family had them when I was little. We had an emotionally needy cat and a collie who was such a moron she got herself (bear in mind she is a COLLIE) stuck in the cat flap. On a daily basis. She was also known for eating entire bunches of bananas and for stealing underwear from the laundry and leaping around the back garden in triumph for reasons best known to herself.
Wow, Claire, that is one package of a dog! As irritating as that sort of thing can be, it’s still awfully entertaining. I have a great image of a collie leaping around the yard actually WEARING the stolen underwear. Perhaps I need another cup of coffee…
Thanks for coming by!
I love that first picture of your cat. Great expression! I often imagine that our little gray cat is thinking “hurry up, stupid human!” as she meows her “orders” to me. I’m pretty sure she thinks my sole purpose is to open and close the front door for her. My husband and boys can be sitting right next to it and she will find me 3 rooms away and demand I let her outside. Our old cat refused to drink her water if were next the food bowl as well so the cat water is in the bathroom here as well. I never moved it once she passed away so now that is just the strange location of the cat’s water bowl around here.
Isn’t that one hilarious, Jean? My Hub pointed out that when the photo was taken, Cat One was actually squinting at me with affection – you know the blink blink means ‘I love you” thing? Not sure I agree because he really does look just so foul-humored, doesn’t he?
I know the cats all think my Hub’s purpose is to feed them every day. I can be sitting right next to their bowls in the kitchen and they will holler for him to come and feed them at mealtime. Kind of ridiculous.
Sorry to hear your kitty passed away! Neat that the bowl is still there. I suspect we would do the same.
‘
Those photos? Classic. And what is it about the plastic bags? We’ve been extraordinarily lucky with our dogs. One had a fondness for nylons – especially the knee tyoe ones. Chowed down on them even when I thought I’d so carefully hidden them. So delightful when they came out the other end …
Yeah the photos aren’t too difficult; he gives us plenty of opportunity to catch him being obnoxious. No idea what it is about the bags, but it’s like he can sense them the minute they arrive. Today I brought plastic bags home INSIDE a canvas shopping bag with the bag closed and the plastic hidden under other things. Stuck his little cat head right down in the bag and managed to find them by the time I took my coat off. Unbelievable!
This is FREAKING HILARIOUS! I love love love the photo of him pissed off sitting in the chair at the table. Priceless! My dog once ate an entire chicken, bones and all. I had to feed him rice for a week because the bones could have pierced his intestines. Also he knew how to open doors so I had to buy a $350 new doorknob thing that he couldn’t open. Awww… lovely animals. Tucker’s been asking for a cat recently but I’m painfully allergic. Hubs so no to the ugly hairless ones (did I tell you that already? I feel like I have).
Ha – thanks, Kristi. That is a great photo, isn’t it?
Oh that dog! They are such garbage disposals, aren’t they? The bones thing is not funny, though – bad news.
A hairless cat? I’d say no, too. They look like Sméagol. Eew.
At least Cat 1 lets you know what is upsetting him. Some make you guess and punish you more when you are wrong.
One of our cats, Lemon, will wait until you are not looking and then lick Parmesan Cheese off your plate … or your food. It’s charming.
My other cat, Carmen, well, you read about our “disagreement” over her behavior modification. I’m still wearing a mark from that encounter.
Well, Cat Two did that the other day. He wanted to lay next to me and I wasn’t moving to the position he wanted. He took his paw and patted my butt to let me know I was in his way. While I was sitting there thinking “did my cat really just do that?” he did it again! It was unmistakable.
Lemon! What a cute name! I have a nice lemon parmesan chicken recipe you could make in her honor! They really are charming, even when they are being a pain.
Yes, I can clearly see that the rotten cats do not have the upper hand in your household any more than they do in mine! ROFL. I love that face of #1, I think I’d be keeping an eye on him! They are masters of conveying their thoughts through facial expression – you should see the looks I get if I play on my tablet a bit long when their internal supper time alarms go off. If looks could kill!!! And yup, they all do that “turn your back” routine (I wonder if that’s where the expression came from). Note that their ears are turned back toward you when they do this, listening to make sure you are taking notice of their posturing. My other rotten cat favorite activity, hacking up hairballs when we are in the process of eating dinner… very, unappetizing sound! But we love ’em anyway! 🙂
Cat One is definitely the one we need to watch for shenanigans. He’s the trouble maker here. That’s interesting about the ears – I never noticed that but it makes sense. Ugh – hairballs are just nasty. Cat One deposited a lovely one right on a computer plug tonight. Gross. But when they curl up together and keep my feet warm or one snuggles up to Zilla while she reads at night, they are too sweet. And hey, they don’t need to be walked at 5AM, so there’s something, too!
No, no, your cats aren’t spoiled or pampered at all….
See, this is what I said!
OMG This is hilarious. Cats really are such jerks. The pic of him at the table! Priceless. My favorite line: “Do not sit in his chair lest you be upbraided for your sin.”
Just the laugh I needed this morning!
LOL- that’s great. And it really is true. If you sit in the chair that one likes, he will holler. A lot. They really are ridiculous.
So good to see you here!
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