No Answers
I just finished reading today’s news…not that I don’t already know what’s going on. The faces of the Sandy Hook victims on my screen actually startled me and brought instant tears to my eyes.
But we refused to turn on the television or boot up the Internet with our daughter anywhere close enough to absorb one horrible word of what she might see. She is far too perceptive, far too inquisitive, to think that any of it will escape her notice. And so we have chosen to sequester her, to shield her from this evil.
My heart is broken for these people. My daughter is younger than those children, but it’s too close for comfort. I can not even begin to think about that. Today at Mass, our Kindergarten kids were on the altar with our pastor for a special Advent homily and presentation. The joy in their little faces was healing and comforting…and at the same time devastatingly bittersweet and painful to behold.
As we’ve spent the day pretending all is well with the world and preparing for the week to begin, I found fear rising inside me. I want to lock my doors and windows and keep my child home with me. Forever. I do not want to set one foot in my own school. Ever again.
But that is not realistic. And I do not believe that is what we are meant to do. If we do that, evil wins. And I don’t know about anyone else, but there is no way on this earth that I believe evil has the right to win.
God wins. Love wins. Strength and courage in the face of evil wins.
But evil does not win.
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I have the same attitude about not letting evil win. I think it’s the right decision to shield our children from the realities of the world. My children are older and have the capacity to understand what happened, and yet I still protect their innocence from the horrible details. Our schools sent out some guidelines about how to talk to kids about this tragedy, and I have adhered to it pretty closely. So far, their fears have not surfaced. I am thankful for that, and pray diligently that I have the words and actions to deal with them when they do.
Yeah, that’s about all a mom can do – pray like crazy that we get it right.
I’ve not only tried to shield my kids from this tragic event, but myself as well. On the day that it happened, I heard two employees in Lowe’s talking about it. Then on the way home, the Christmas radio station had a special news report about it. I started to cry with grief and decided right then and there that I was going to avoid all news about this event if I could. It’s not that I don’t care. It’s not that I am turning my back on those victims. It is more that I know how wrapped up I can get in other people’s sorrows and let fear and anger take over my life so easily. I am choosing to focus on the good in my life right now.
My 12 year old son, as far as I know, doesn’t know about what happened. I came to learn that my 16 year old daughter’s English teacher turned on the breaking news during class that day. That made me frustrated. I don’t want my children to be afraid of what might happen when they go to school. I think that, as the parent, I should have been able to make the decision whether I wanted my daughter to know about this or not. In this case, I am not sure if knowledge equals power. Sometimes knowledge just leads to fear and confusion.
I agree – the parent should make that choice. Especially considering the media’s penchant for stream-of-consciousness reporting. And you’re right that knowledge does not always equal power. Consider the circumstances of gaining “knowledge” that but so-called knowledge turns out to be inaccurate as has been the case with several details of this event. Putting out “unconfirmed” details only serves to perpetuate the sensationalism of the whole thing. I can see the wisdom in turning it off – even for yourself. Any channel that keeps repeating the name of the shooter is only adding to the glorification status. Hate that. Thanks for weighing in, Heather!
According to the Bible, God has already won. While I believe that, it’s sure hard to reconcile with our temporal, here-and-now reality. It’s hard to feel anything but sad.
I hear you. But I spent a wonderful all-day day with my Daughter today and when I see her and see the excitement in her eyes about Christmas lights and Baby Jesus’ birthday and “retro” Christmas specials and Santa and fuzzy pajamas…I feel a whole lot better. 🙂
I am so, so glad. 🙂
Now, sit your keester down and write us a blog post.
I really must. Thanks for the kick in the pants.
And just for the record, those would be my Thanksgiving pants. Still. 🙂
I KNEW I liked you!
🙂
It has been a couple weeks now and I still feel so horrified. I just hope that our law makers do as well. We have to do better for our kids. Our innocent kids just trying to go to school should be able to do so in safety. And our disturbed kids must be recognized and given care.
As for our own children in our own homes, we have to provide sanctuary from the madness. And if that sanctuary comes in the form of twinkling lights, fuzzy p.j.s and Rudolph on TV, so much the better!
Peace to you and yours.
And to you! We’ve really been relishing the peace and stillness of this week, even in the midst of all the bustle. It’s been a really nice break from all of it.
We must cling on to hope. Although this is beyond unimaginable. Truly.