The Light in Our Lives
Sunday was the second Sunday of Advent. It also happened to be the second night of Hanukkah. Ours is a two-faith home; Fab Hub/Dad is Jewish and Zilla and I are Catholic.
At first glance, this is quite a disparity. But not as much as you would think.
Judaism is the root of Catholicism; Jesus was a faithful Jewish man. The decision to raise Zilla in the Catholic faith was actually fairly simple for us. As a Catholic, she can embrace the traditions and tenets of the Jewish faith as the cradle of her own; to choose otherwise would put her in a position where she would have to reject the major principle of Christianity.
From the start of our relationship, Fab Hub and I wanted our marriage to be about unity, not division. At our wedding, we had our ushers seat guests intermingled on both sides of the church rather than bride side/groom side. We included traditions from both faiths in our ceremony. We have a Crucifix on the wall and a mezuzah on the front door. When we sit down to meals, Zilla makes the Sign of the Cross in Latin, we say a traditional Christian blessing before meals, and Fab Hub adds a Hebrew blessing over the wine or bread – whichever happens to be on the table that evening. OK, so the procedure is a bit unique, but does it matter? It works for us. And, after all, it is the same God to whom we offer our thanks and gratitude for the blessings and gifts we have before us each night at our meals, in each other as a family, and in every moment of our lives.
It is an awesome way to live. I know that my own faith has deepened in the years since Fab Hub and I have been together. Around our table, we hope our daughter learns understanding and compassion. The Commandments and principles of honest, moral living are the same. It is important to us that Zilla learn not only the beliefs and traditions of the faith that she and I share, but also those of her father’s. We work as a family to include everyone in these traditions and celebrations in the most appropriate way for all of us.
And so, on the first night of Hanukkah, we also lit our Christmas tree. On the second Sunday of Advent, we also lit the second candle on the Menorah. On Monday evening as we lit the candles of both our Advent wreath and our Menorah, Zilla decided she wanted to turn off the dining room lights.
“Mom. Dad.”
Us: “Yes?”
Z: “Remember the fireworks party we had in the summer? The one where we turned off the lights and had candles and watched the fireworks while we had dinner?”
Us: “Yes.”
Z: We should do that now. Tonight. And after dinner when we spin the dreidels, we should have candlelight and Christmas tree lights to play our game together.”
Yes, Zilla, we should. We should all bring the Light in our lives to the table when we play together.
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What a great post. I love the emphasis on unity that you have built your family upon. If only everyone felt this way!
Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Kind of like Robert Fulghum’s theory that if we all got to take a nap with blankies every afternoon the world would be a happier place.
I love the way you ‘Mix and Match’ your traditions, Lisa. Is that unusual amongst your friends? I also love the photo you include in your post, it evokes an warm emotion as I look at it.
I took a look at your lates recipes and feel inspired to try some! Like you, I’m not really into baking anymore as I tend to eat what I bake (big mistake when figure watching) but I can make an exception!
Hi, Linda and thanks for coming over here!
Not sure I know how to answer your question because I’m not sure I know what you’re asking (been a loooooooong day). We don’t have too many friends or even family members who are part of a multi-faith family themselves. Those we do know, honestly, seem more often than not to opt out of actively participating in any faith. Everyone has to make their own choices, of course, but I do find it hard to comprehend not having a faith anchor at all. We always talk things through and hope we are making the best choices for all of us.
As for the baking, the trick is finding willing recipients to give the goods to! Right after having a few “samples” to make sure the food is safe and all, of course. 🙂
So sweet 🙂
Speaking of sweet…your cranberry vanilla cookies look amazing. All three of us LOVE vanilla here so those are next on the insane baking frenzy list! And thanks for the mention on your blog – I screamed out loud. It felt like the scene in Steel Magnolias where Truvy screams “I’m a chaaaaaiiyyyn!” Proof once again that a Steel Magnolias quote is always appropriate.
Zilla is one lucky lady to have such a rich bounty of faith-rooted traditions in her life! I’m kinda jealous…:)
Thanks, Nic – that’s sweet. You can come join in our traditions any time. 🙂
I love this! Instead of allowing divergent faith divide, you unify and celebrate the best things:) That is teaching a great lesson to your daughter and I think she will cherish these memories!
That is our hope! 🙂
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