Traditions Old and New

Tradition – the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way.

When we think of traditions, it is easy to think of things that have been handed down for many generations. Tradition is the way we’ve always done things. But traditions had to start somewhere, didn’t they? And was it called “tradition” when it was done for the first time? Of course not.

In the play Fiddler on the Roof (or film version, if you prefer), Tevye is a father who holds fast to his traditions. He struggles with the fact that his children are growing up, moving out, and starting new traditions of their own. He wants them, understandably, to hold fast to the things he holds dear and eventually comes to realize that while tradition surely keeps us rooted to our past, we must also be willing to plant the seeds of the future.

There is indeed something comforting about the traditions that have been around seemingly forever. There is safety and warmth in returning to the places, people, and events that have shaped our lives and our hearts. But there can be a fresh excitement in starting a new tradition and knowing that it, too, will be loved and enjoyed by future generations. Or perhaps we do not realize that the things we do together will in time become these traditions.

It doesn’t really matter how old or new a tradition is. What matters is that we keep the practice of transmitting our customs, our beliefs, and our values from one generation to the next. It isn’t important how we do it; it is important that we do it.

And so, in this vein, here are some of the family traditions my family loves most.

No list of traditions would be complete for this family without the monthly tradition of Lobster Day. For whatever reason, the Fab Hub and I have always made a point to set aside the 29th of each month as a day to celebrate our relationship – the 29th happens to be the day of the month we finally admitted we were a “thing” after denying it for quite some time. (You can read about that here.) We might go out or stay in, make a bit of a fuss or not, but we always make it a point to celebrate. Zilla has caught on and enjoys it just as much – she makes sure we use the lobster dishes and coasters!

 

For the last few years, we have celebrated the Fourth of July with an indoor picnic – steaks grilled to perfection on the back deck and then brought inside to enjoy at a candlelit table. The menu doesn’t vary much – always the steaks with corn on the cob and a fresh romaine salad with homemade ranch dressing on the side. We usually set the table with our lobster dishes (because they’re red, white, and blue, of course). We turn off the lights and open the dining room windows so that we can see the fireworks light up the night sky across the field behind our house as we eat a late dinner.

Friday nights have become something of a mini-tradition for us. On most Friday afternoons, we head for the local Farmers’ Market and make our rounds. We hit the same stores, visit the same merchants, and do it all in pretty much the same order every week. After the market, we head home for whatever we’ve decided upon for dinner. Often it is something “traditional” like delivery pizza, but other night we opt for homemade hoagies or something completely different. Many weeks we find a good family movie to watch together; others we just hang out and play games or read. Friday night is Family Night here.

A more sporadic tradition we’ve developed is the Sleep-in Saturday or Stay at Home in Pajamas Day. These are pretty self-explanatory. On a Saturday where we have no particular plans, Zilla will wake up in her room, pad down the hall on her little feet, and crawl up on our bed with us to snuggle and watch some TV. Before long, at least one of the Rotten Cats will join us – usually all by some point – and we’ll enjoy some time just hanging out. Stay at Home in Pajamas Day is sort of an extension of the Sleep-in Saturday. Maybe we’ll watch movies or play games or read. Sometimes we bake cookies – in our pajamas. The point of the day is to enjoy a day of comfort, no commitments, togetherness, and rest.

Sometimes a meal is the whole tradition. On our honeymoon, the Fab Hub and I had the best Eggs Benedict ever. They were so good that when we got home, we learned to make them and started having our own “honeymoon” breakfasts. Sometimes we invite company; other times it’s just the three of us. Zilla now calls them “Mommy eggs” because I’m the one in charge of making those. (“Daddy eggs” are scrambled.)

Speaking of breakfasts, we have a huge one on Thanksgiving morning. The menu includes – you guessed it – Mommy eggs but also the Fab Hub’s famous homemade waffles and all the rest of what you’d expect at a huge breakfast. Why a huge breakfast on Thanksgiving? The biggest eating day of the year? Well, as each of our individual families has grown up and out, there are more places to go, more relatives to visit. Sometimes there are multiple invites. So on Thanksgiving morning, we have our own little breakfast with those closest to us before we all have to head our separate ways.

Christmas has become our stay at home holiday. Sort of. Now that Zilla is old enough to appreciate and enjoy the children’s Christmas Eve Mass at our church, we take her to that. Later, I’ll attend late Mass with my Sister and Mom while the Fab Hub helps Zilla get ready for bed and put out cookies and coffee for Santa and carrots and water for the reindeer. On Christmas morning, we start super early so that we can both  be here with Zilla while she opens her gifts before the Hub heads off to plays for services at another church. (Yup, that’s the kind of funny part – the Jewish guy in the family plays for Christmas Masses.) Since Zilla and I have already been to Mass the night before, we hang out together until the Fab Dad gets home. In the afternoon, we have a nice dinner here and my Mom joins us. Why is Christmas a small, stay-at-home holiday for us? Glad you asked…

The Hub’s family is Jewish so Christmas is obviously not on the roster there. My Sister spends time on Christmas Day with her Husband’s family. My Mom is a parish musician so she’s pretty busy on things like major holidays. So we keep Christmas proper pretty low-key. We do the big family get-together the next day – on Boxing Day – when Mom’s well-rested and everybody has been to their other relatives. It’s still a pretty quiet and low-key celebration, but it’s a favorite. It’s not the huge gathering we had when I was growing up with my Grandparents, all their kids, the aunts and uncles and cousins…we’ve all kind of branched out and do different things now. Neither the Hub nor I grew up lighting an Advent wreath side by side with a Menorah. But we do it now.

Our extended families also have newer traditions – we gather at one cousin’s house for Thanksgiving, our place for Easter, my Mom’s for a chili-fest on a winter Sunday. The Hub’s side does much of the same, rotating houses for Passover or Hanukkah celebrations. The traditions are as varied as a traditional and formal Seder meal to ordering Chinese takeout for the Hanukkah feast – hardly “traditional” fare for the holiday, but a favorite for many of the cousins on that side.

While some of these are things that have carried through our lives for as long as we can remember, many others are not the traditions we knew as kids.  But they are the ones we know and enjoy now. They work for the family we are today. They teach us who we are and what we ought to do. And in the truest sense of the word, these traditions do indeed transmit the customs and beliefs of past generations…through this generation…and on to the next.

To Tradition!

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