What My Name Does NOT Mean

OK, so I totally blew off Mama Kat’s weekly writing prompts because I simply could not get inspired. The best option for me this week was the prompt about the meaning of your name and whether it suits you.

Every website, bookmark, or framed art I’ve ever seen that explains the meaning of my name tells me that it means “consecrated to God” or “devoted to God.”

Does that suit me? Hmm…

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet…”

I’m fairly certain that I probably fall short of hitting the “consecrated” or “devoted” mark. I’m just regular. I have a strong faith. I do indeed love God. I say my prayers, try to do the right thing, and only swear every once in a while. Somehow, that just didn’t seem like enough to spin into a snappy post and tossing in a line from Shakespeare doesn’t really fill the void.

Anyway, I read a few of the Mama Kat posts and saw that more than one person had checked the meaning of their name on Urban Dictionary. I had no idea this was even an option. (Clearly, I need to get out more.)

So, I decided to check out my own name.  Now there’s something to say about it…

According to Urban Dictionary, Lisa is the name of a girl who is very pretty and is so lovable that boys fall in love with her instantly. Really? If that is true, then all of those boys who fell in love with me instantly over the course of my life failed to mention it to me. Moving on.

It also said that Lisa is one of the most popular names for a newborn girl in 1970. I believe it. I recall that up until the time I was about ten, I often encountered others named Lisa. Know the last time I met someone whose name is Lisa? Like 1982. Know how many people I’ve met in the last thirty years named Lisa? One.

The Urban Dictionary claims that most Lisas are hot. At the moment, I may or may not be having a hot flash, so…yeah, let’s go with this one.

An extremely smart and sexy female with great hair and a great face. Well, sure. My hair stylist does tell me that I have great hair. And I hardly have any wrinkles.

Nice, sweet and generous are words that go along with Lisa.  She is funny and giving.  Not a slut by any means… Well thank God for that.

Always ready to party and her phone is always ringing. Not unless “party” actually means “take a nap” or we count the drugstore calling for the nineteenth time this week about some prescription refill I need to pick up.

She will even fly to another state for a house party. This has never happened to me even once.

She is self confident and blessed with good genes. Good genes, yes perhaps. No wrinkles. Fairly cute. Often mistaken for ten years younger than I am. Thanks, Mom.

They get better.

Lisas always remain calm and collected and are able to be in control of situations. It is rare to cheer everybody up in different situations, yet she always manages to do it. Moreover, she is the life and soul of a party, which makes her extremely sociable. She is not quick-tempered, in fact deep down, she is really an amiable person. Right now at least three people who know me really well are spitting out their coffee for any or all of the so-not-like-me qualities described above.

Has an unprecedented sense of humor. Perhaps. I think I’m hysterical. So does Kidzilla.

Lisa has a very unpredictable lifestyle, for this reason she spends a lot of time exercising.  Bwahahahaaa…

Intelligent and very focused. Strong set of character, which makes her stand out from the rest. Never one who gives up. At risk of sounding full of myself, I think these actually work. These might be true.

But this…this next one is the best of all.