Why My Husband Isn’t Allowed to Go Grocery Shopping
My husband is no longer allowed to do the grocery shopping.
It’s not because he isn’t willing. He never protests when we need a store run. And it’s not because he’s bad at it. In fact, in the two years he spent as the at-home guy, the Hub became very proficient at navigating the grocery store aisles. He knows the store better than I do because he was the designated shopper during our store’s renovations.
The reason he isn’t allowed to shop any more is because of this:
![20160110_142914[1]](http://themeaningofme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/20160110_1429141-e1452482323999.jpg)
Know what that is? That is a tower of rice. A ten pound tower of rice. Why do we have a ten pound tower of rice in our kitchen? That’s a very good question. The answer? My Husband.
Now, my Husband will readily admit that when he goes to the store, he will not remember a list if it’s more than a couple of items. We’ve stopped arguing about that. Once we hit three, I know I need to give him a list. When I sent him for the rice, I gave him a list. I even used the very cool shopping list app from our local supermarket. See?
This app is great. It tells you the item, the aisle where you’ll find it, the price, the SIZE, and the quantity. It’s very helpful. Notice that we needed a FIVE pound bag of rice, not ten. Why did we need five pounds of rice? So my Aunt D. could make a weighted lap pillow for Zilla. It’s a tool to help her sit still and focus in school. Aren’t they cute? Aunt D. did a great job. One for school, one for home – each weighing FIVE pounds.
![20160110_222211[1]](http://themeaningofme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/20160110_2222111.jpg)
I offered her the ten but she said that was way more rice than she would use for her craft projects. Ever. So now I have ten pounds of rice. Which is way more rice than I will use for … anything. Ever.
![20160110_142754[1]](http://themeaningofme.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/20160110_1427541.jpg)
I asked my Husband what he was thinking when he bought a ten pound bag of rice.
Me: Hon? What were you thinking when you bought a ten pound bag of rice?
Hub: I was thinking I was buying a five pound bag of rice.
Me: But you bought a ten pound bag of rice. See? On the front? It says “10 lbs.” That’s ten pounds.
Hub: Yes.
Me: The list thingie said “5 lbs.” That’s five pounds.
Hub: Yes.
Me: Did you not see the part where it said on the front of the bag that it was ten pounds?
Hub: Apparently not.
Me: When you picked it up, did you think maybe it was a little heavy for Zilla to use on her lap? I mean she only hits about 50 pounds if she has a really big meal.
Hub: I didn’t think it was too heavy.
Me: Seriously? This thing is like half her size!
Hub: I thought it was five pounds.
So this is why he’s not allowed to go shopping. And also because this is not his first offense. The other time he purchased a ridiculously large amount of something, I sent him to the store for fresh ginger. I asked for something like this:
He came home with this:
OK, OK, not quite. But he did bring home a piece that looked kind of like that huge one on the top of the pile. That was like two years ago. Luckily, you can freeze ginger. I think we finally finished it last month.
I suppose you can expect that in the near future I’ll share some recipes for soup that has rice on the ingredients list. Or perhaps we’ll start doing a weekly stir-fry night. Or make a vat of chicken and rice and feed…I don’t know…Philadelphia.
Whatever we do, I fully plan to get at least ten pounds of mileage out of this one. And, in all fairness, the Hub will be happy to tell you the reasons why I am not allowed to load our dishwasher.
Do you have a funny story about your spouse doing the shopping? Or yourself? What strange things have you brought home from the grocery store?
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Have you watched this? https://youtu.be/-YFRUSTiFUs
Your husband and her husband might be brothers! 🙂
That is hilarious!
Too funny. But if my husband doesn’t go shopping, it doesn’t get done!
That is often true for us. I have kid activity transport duty so he hits the store.
Since my husband NEVER does any of those sorts of household projects, I’d be grateful if he brought home anything useful or edible into the household.
If he starts, make sure you give him a list. Oh wait…that didn’t help.
My husband invariably gets something wrong every time I send him to the store. I think I’ve spelled out every possible detail about whatever the item is and he still manages to get the wrong version–the fat-free one maybe, or the flavored one, or the wrong brand, or the wrong size.
Hi, Leslie! I think it’s a conspiracy. They do it on purpose so we won’t send them.
In return for your fabulous idea of a lap pillow, I will give you an idea:sensory bucket. Fill with rice measuring cups and spoons, small toys to hide and find. Great time filler!!!!
That is a great one! Zilla likes the pillow…says it helps.
We’ve used that at school and at my house when the kids can’t go outside. Way better than a sand box!
My husband is’t allowed in the store either. He went once when he was in law school and I was way pregnant with the oldest. He came home with a 5 pound hunk of pork butt. That’s what the label said. Butt. “It was on sale for 59 cents a pound!” he said. This was when ground beef was only a dollar a pound.
He hates shopping. Hates. So on the very rare time he has to get some groceries, he stocks up on all the processed junk I don’t buy, just to ensure that it doesn’t happen again anytime soon.
Wish we lived closer. I’ll be making fried rice for dinner later this week. We will need three cups of rice for that one meal.
See? They do it on purpose! Meanwhile only a guy would buy something labeled “butt.” 😝
If we lived close I would hand deliver the rice to you.
Husbands must have lists! No list means 4 phone calls, 3 texts, and a second trip to the store, guaranteed!
Haha – Jennileigh, that’s pretty accurate! And I think my Husband would actually agree. 😀
A life time supply of wedding confetti… every cloud 😉
That is definitely one way to look at it! 😀
I feel your pain. My husband thinks Costco is a way of life.
Oh no. We’re getting a Costco near us this summer. Thanks for the warning. My Husband just said, “Great! I can buy more big packages of things!”
Love this! You did an excellent job of describing the situation. LOL. My father-in-law is not allowed in stores because he hoards pickles, Cheerios & Diet Pepsi like a madman! 🙂
That is hilarious! What a strange combination of things to stockpile!
Bravo! HILARIOUS! I’m still laughing out loud!
Truth? We find ourselves pretty hilarious, too. 😀
Haha – oh dear! Common sense bypass! That comedian clip first commenter posted is also hilarious. & probably worse – think of all the cupboard space you’d have to find!
Kristi’s video cracked me up – so funny! As for cupboard space…well, I’m still looking. The tower is still on the kitchen counter! Hmm…maybe by guy logic it means I need a bigger kitchen…
LOL my husband is not allowed to go shopping for similar reasons. He might find the 5 pound bag, but then he’ll buy two of them, because what if we need more? That’s why my pantry is overflowing with stuff we don’t use.
I think like Silly Mummy said, it’s a common sense bypass. My Husband is brilliant. But not when it comes to groceries. 😀 Still seeking space in the pantry…no success yet.
This post is so cathartic! This is totally my partner to a tee. He always gets at least one thing wrong, no matter how clear I am, and he also won’t even look at the lists I make. We’ve had four things of bagels in the freezer before. I just cleaned out the cabinets and found five boxes of graham crackers. He always brings home the wrong version of things. The other day I asked for the same Suave conditioner we’ve been using for years, and got shampoo I had never heard of, in a not even close to similar bottle! So yeah, he’s not allowed to go the store alone anymore. I really am sincerely appreciative that he tries, but the issue is, he won’t admit he makes these mistakes! In his mind he does nothing wrong! If he would just say he’s bad at it, it would make my day. I know it’s a petty problem, but c’mon, I get roasted for being terrible at so many things, and I admit, I suck at a lot, so why can’t he admit he is bad at THIS ONE THING?!!!!! I can’t even say anything when he comes home with the wrong things, for fear of starting World War Three!
Oh, Vanessa, I hear you! My husband is great at falling asleep in front of TV, but will never admit it! We definitely both have our faults and irritating habits. But in the end, they are really very small things. We accept them and we definitely laugh about them. It makes it all so much easier.