A Darkness Above
Before she opened her eyes, she took stock of her body, moving from head to toe in a thorough assessment of each muscle and bone. She was hurt, sore, but not broken – at least not on the exterior – and desperately in need of water to wash away the dry bitterness that clung to her lips and tongue.
Still with eyes closed, she felt the earth give a bit beneath her weight, cool and damp enough for her to know it had rained recently, while a slight breeze moved through the trees around her and delivered the moldy odor of autumn from the leaves that crunched beneath her, their musky perfume finding its way into her nostrils.
Finally allowing herself sight, she looked up through an opening in the thick brush underneath which she now realized she was hidden from view. The sun was nearly overhead, indicating midday, but the light and air around her carried a sinister, filmy darkness uncharacteristic of noon.
The croak of a raven split the silence, announcing that evil lurked nearby and was certainly up to no good.
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Join us at Ivy Walker‘s blog for Six Sentence Stories. Each week writers are challenged to spin a tale in six sentences – no more, no less. This week’s cue is…UP.
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22 Comments
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Evil lurking nearby is NEVER good! Way to scare it UP! Nice job.
Never good. I took that photo on a hike several weeks ago and I knew it would come in handy at some point – fit perfectly for this.
Not a position i’d ever want to be in.
Definitely not.
Hmm… what would be better, for you to continue the story, or tell the story before this story. What happened to get her there in that state?
Crisp cool six.
I’m not sure. I think I could go either way. Maybe both…? And thank you. I think I like “crisp cool” for my six.
‘cellent Six. Tell us more (backstory or forestory*)
*whadda mean, there ain’t no such word?!! lol
It can be a word…why not? 😀 And thanks!
I’m so intimidated by six sentence challenges. I haven’t been able to convince myself to do one just yet. That said, you make it seem so effortless! I love the vivid sensory detail here, and the ending was especially well-crafted in my opinion. Can’t wait to read more!
Oh, Cadence try it! I felt the same way (some days still do), but it is such great practice and really a lot of fun.
Thank you so much for your comments!
Wow….a very different take on the prompt
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I like taking a different perspective than what might be expected. Thanks for visiting!
There’s clearly something very unpleasant going on here, but what? Nice piece.
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Thanks, Keith. And who knows…?
This was a fantastic story. Could be part of larger piece. Very well written, Lisa.
Do read mine at https://neelwritesblog.wordpress.com/2017/09/28/neelwritesupndownlikeayoyosixsentencestoriesfiction28092017/
Thank you, Neel. I’ve used some of my sixes to springboard larger works. Maybe this one, too.
Creepy! Well done!
Creepy indeed. Thanks, Kristi!
So unsettling! I want to know more…what happened before, what happens next…great writing!
And I meant to compliment you on the photo…unsettling as well…perfect for the story.
Ah, thank you. I love this photo. Took it several weeks ago on a hike and it was just so…weird. It has been on my mind ever since and this was a great opportunity to let it inspire.
I want to know, too, Deborah! 😀 Could be a good one to expand. Thank you for the comments!