Listen to Your Mother 2016: A Reflection

Everyone has a story to tell.

Yet very often we keep those stories to ourselves, unready or unwilling to share them with the world.

One of my favorite movies is Steel Magnolias – for so many reasons. Early in the film Truvy (played by Dolly Parton) tries to find out more about her new employee, Annelle (Daryl Hannah).

“Well…tell me things about yourself,” Truvy begins, making it clear that she wants to know. Annelle says, “There’s nothing to tell…” and hesitantly provides a few vague details, fearful that her story is not suitable for public consumption.

 

As the scene continues, Truvy and the other women at her beauty shop encourage Annelle to share the details of her life. “Of course you can!” They tell her when she says she can’t talk about some of the more intimate and complicated bits of her story. While their initial interest is motivated by pure curiosity, the women quickly rally around her and provide support. And if you’ve seen the movie, you know that the bulk of the story is centered on that idea – a group of women supporting each other as their stories unfold.

Just over two weeks ago, I enjoyed the privilege of being part of the Lehigh Valley cast of the Listen to Your Mother show. The experience was one of the most unique of my life so far.

Friends and acquaintances who have been part of previous LTYM casts have described it as “life-changing.” I’ve seen and heard members of my cast say the same. For the last two weeks, I’ve asked myself many times if that is how I would describe it, and I honestly don’t know if I would.

I can throw a dozen different adjectives at you and all would be precisely accurate as well as grossly inadequate to describe what it was like. It was amazing, it was unique, it was joyful and sad. It was at times terrifying and frustrating as well (for me, anyway – no voice in the week leading up to the performance!). But was it life-changing?

That question is a lot like the ones you get after major life events: How is motherhood treating you? How is married life? Do you feel different now that you’re engaged? How are you even supposed to answer that?

I can’t say that much is really different for me since LTYM. OK, I got my voice back after two weeks of hoarseness and laryngitis, so that’s a definite change for the better. But I’m still the same me. I’ve written lots of things in my life. I’ve shared many of them. I’ve spoken in public to large groups on many occasions.

Perhaps one distinct difference is that this time I stood in front of a room full of mostly strangers and read something I wrote that is very personal. My sister pointed that out to me. This wasn’t teaching a prepared classroom lesson. This wasn’t giving a workshop for colleagues. This was the first time my daughter saw me do something like this.

And there is definitely the human factor to consider. Nothing I’ve done before included being part of a group of people gathered for the purpose of sharing very personal stories in a very public way.  The members of the cast are such different people who live such different lives. Some came already knowing someone else in the group. Some came and made instant – and perhaps lasting – connections with other members of the group. Some came and participated more quietly than others, observing and soaking in the experience to process more internally. All came to celebrate mothers and motherhood and I will take a chance by saying that all have gained something from the experience and from the other participants.

I think the term I would use to describe this, for me at least, is life-affirming. My participation in Listen to Your Mother has shown me that the path I am on right now is the right one for me in a number of ways. It has shown me that other people out there – both in my cast and in the casts from other cities via their videos – are just like me. They are living a life filled with joy and sadness, failure and success, doubt and reassurance,. Just like me. No matter who we are, no matter where we come from, we are all touched in some way by mothers and by motherhood and even in our differences, we are all the same.

I’m excited to share my piece with you, but I’d rather wait until the video is available than post the words. So you’ll have to be patient a bit and stick around until then.

In the meantime, do something special for the mothers in your life – not just around Mother’s Day, but every day. Do something for yourself, for your mother, for the mother in the supermarket who is struggling with a crying child…anyone.

And when you do, start a conversation with that person and listen to her story. Because everybody has one.

[tweetthis]Everyone has a story to tell.[/tweetthis]

(Photography courtesy of Elaine Zelker Photography)