Six Sentence Stories: Scenes from a Convenience Store
I don’t come here nearly often enough to qualify for “regular” status, but I’ve been here enough to know how things work, that there is an order and a system to everything, and everyone knows their role.
At this time of day, most people are here for a jump start to their day, ignoring everything that isn’t at the coffee counter, despite the cleverly-positioned pseudo-healthy offerings standing at the ready for the lunch crowd. Even the healthier morning-friendly items – fruit and vegetable juices, bottled smoothies, hard-boiled eggs, fruit salads, and yogurt cups – are passed over in favor of the steaming promise of alertness rising from the aroma of the coffee pots.
The coffee crowd moves with purpose, heads down and avoiding eye contact and conversation until the need for a requisite grunt of “good morning” or “thank you” or “you too” intrudes on their efforts to exact some flimsy form of retribution from the morning. The men who work outside are here in their jeans and day-glow chartreuse sweatshirts, grabbing cans of Red Bull, packs of cigarettes, and deli sandwiches they’ll eat sitting on the back of the trucks later in the day, happier than most of the coffee crowd, it seems, with a sort of secret smile though it’s impossible to know precisely why.
The rest of us – the gas pump customers and the casual stop-ins – are interlopers but even we have assigned roles and positions that come with the expectation that we will fit ourselves neatly into the established way of doing things here, entering and leaving under the watchful eyes of the old men just outside the doors in their puffy winter coats holding coffee, smoking cigarettes, surveying all who pass.
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This has been a Six Sentence Story.
Each week, the lovely and talented Ivy Walker hosts a fun link-up challenging writers to spin a tale in six sentences – no more, no less.
Click on the link right here to find out more and link your own post. While you’re there, click on the blue frog button to find more six sentence stories from some wonderful storytellers.
This week’s prompt was EXACT.
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Such beautiful imagery! I really enjoyed this, though I’m left wondering WHY the men in day-glo are so much happier.
Thank you.
And I dunno. Maybe because they are outside and not stuck in the cube farms of the corporate drones? Maybe it’s the Red Bull? I wonder often about them.
…I would accept that for summer. But in winter, outside is cold and rainy. That said we all perceive freedom in such different ways.
I’m with you on the winter point although we don’t get quite so much rain here. But brr. Maybe they like the feel of physical labor. Maybe one day I’ll ask.
Wonderfully written, Lisa. Most of us are in pursuit of coffee in the morning, whether it’s to our own pot in the kitchen or outside on the way to somewhere. And there’s a dance involved, even at home. Who’s at the sink, who’s filling a pot, who’s getting the paper? I loved this story. Oh, and, I think the working guys are happy for fresh air, camaraderie and another day of work marked off before the weekend, when the Red Bull, coffee and cigs change to beer, cigs and then the Red Bull.
Camaraderie could be it…they seem to travel together, as a crew. The suits do not.
Perfect summation!!!
Thanks, Ivy!
Very well told! You’ve described my early morning experiences at the gas station/convenience stores here perfectly!
Interesting to know it’s universal.
This is really fun and you did an excellent job of cramming in a ton of details in just six sentences. I was expecting something short… You captured the atmosphere of avoidance and drudgery so well. Great job!
Thanks, Julia. These really are a lot of fun. Great way to exercise the writing muscles!
yeah…. engaging! (The highest compliment to a Six Sentence Story, imo)
“it seems, with a sort of secret smile though it’s impossible to know precisely why.”
(if I may venture an opinion), it’s because, for a brief (and escapable) part of the day, they are accepted members of the society of others (those would dress well, don’t carry food in bags, some even don’t have a set time to do things). They (the dayglo crowd), are enjoying the company. Although they would not necessarily trade their days for the days of these others.
Thank you, Clark. That’s right up there with “well…damn!” 😀
You know, that could be, too. In this place, the playing field is leveled, so to speak, and the usual dividing lines are blurred. You may be on to something with that theory.
I can imagine the scene vividly. 🙂
🙂 Thanks, Romi!
Written very well! I have been in one of these type establishments many times and I believe you have covered all bases with this story! Great job. 🙂
Hi, Jessie! Thanks for the compliment! There is definitely a particular vibe in them, isn’t there?
This is good! I felt as if I were there… the observer, rather than the reader. Great imagery. So much in so little. Well done, Lisa.
Ooh thanks, Kimmie! That’s a great compliment!
Amazing! I can’t believe how much you expressed in six sentences!
Thanks, Michele. Some weeks are easier than others but I love the challenge!
“the steaming promise of alertness rising from the aroma of the coffee pots.”
Of course I would like this! Excellent grouping of words (as I head downstairs for my second morning jo) Truth be told, it’s too late for me. If I have to stop into the convenience store for coffee, I’m already done for lol
Totally enjoyed this Lisa. You captured the quality of an experience in an exceptional way. Your observations spot on and well written!
I’m in total agreement with how amazing that you captured so very much in a mere 6 sentences. 🙂
This warms my evil little writer’s heart! ❤ As does the morning cuppa! I’ve given up coffee anywhere but from our kitchen. When you’ve had the perfect cup my Hub makes nothing else will do.
I love doing these…a fun challenge to see what can be done with a limited number of lines. Keeps my verbosity in check.