Sucker Punched
It is impossible not to feel like a fool when you’re lying on the ground
I can throw a dozen life metaphors at you, but let’s go with the one in which life is a boxing match. You dance around a bit, execute some fancy footwork, throw a punch here, a jab there, duck and weave a little. Most of the time, you do OK and manage to stay on your feet for the entire round. You take a hit or two, and maybe you stumble. But you steady yourself, you get back in there, and you keep fighting. You can take a few hits; you’re strong.
But sometimes life throws a sucker punch. It comes out of nowhere and you find yourself lying on your back, stunned, blinking at the ceiling, wondering how in the world you ended up here. Did the other guy throw something illegal? Did I forget to block or drop my guard? Did I walk into it? Or am I just a lousy fighter?
No one likes getting knocked down. But sooner or later, we are all going to take a punch that knocks us on our metaphorical ass.
I’ve taken one of these punches recently. And a week after the fact, I suppose this analogy may be a little more melodramatic than is necessary. But at the time it felt like a total knockout. My personal ethics prevent me from elaborating about specifics here, but I will say this: perhaps the most devastating part of the whole thing was that I felt my integrity had been attacked. One minute things were moving along well. The next? Knock down. How do circumstances change so quickly? You may question things of a subjective nature if you like – my skill, my effectiveness, even my attitude. But attack my honor? You do not get to go there.
[tweetthis]When life knocks you down, you have a choice to make.[/tweetthis]
Just like a boxer, we all have to make decisions about our next move. Some are of little consequence, others of great import. And of course it’s true that we are all responsible for our choices and actions. But I have to wonder sometimes if situations exist in which we are pushed toward action that isn’t a conscious choice at all? Are we sometimes driven by circumstances to act in ways that in moments of perfect clarity would never cross our minds? Do we read situations incorrectly and end up suffering for it?
I say yes.
We all make errors in judgment. We eat things that are unhealthy. We spend more money than we should. We trust people who should make us run the other way. So what happens when an initial error in judgment leaves you feeling like a fool? What happens when an act of honest good sportsmanship results in a situation that makes you look like the proverbial “bad guy”? When a decision to do or not do something sets in motion a chain of events that culminates in one pivotal moment.
I can tell you what happens.
You end up feeling like the boxer on the floor of the ring. Your heart stops and you can’t quite breathe for a moment. Your mouth falls open and you stare at nothing, struck temporarily dumb by the absurdity of the situation. You try to recover and pull yourself together but find yourself unable to react.
1… 2… 3…
But then you do react. You get angry. You question your skill. You question your judgment. You marvel at your inability to see that move coming even though it was so clearly telegraphed. So you probably start bouncing around between feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, insecurity, irritability, self-reproach and a few more. But there’s no time for that. The ref is counting. Your trainer is in your ear telling you to shake it off and get back in there. It doesn’t really matter how you ended up here; what matters is what you do next.
4… 5…
Staying down isn’t the answer. If you stay down, the other guy wins. But it’s tempting, isn’t it? When life spins you to the mat tired and sore it’s so tempting to strip off your gloves, throw in the towel, and just be done with it. If you stand up and get knocked down again, people may think you’re a fraud, that you’re just faking your way through this fight. And that’s terrifying.
6… 7…
You hear your cheering section tell you to get up. You try to believe them when they say, “You can do it.” Because another part of you knows they’re right. You’ve worked hard. You’ve trained for this. You know how to land a punch and keep your hands up. But this isn’t about skill or talent right now. It’s about heart. You could choose to stay on the mat, let your ten seconds run out, and beat yourself up for your imagined lack of competence. But to what end? Your opponent has done a pretty fair job of that for you already.
8… 9…
So what’s it going to be?
Do you leave your gloves here on the mat and call it a night? Or do you stand up and go another few rounds? The crowd might whisper. If you go down again, they may just point and laugh. They may say you can’t win.
But you know what? Forget them.
They’re not in the ring. They’re not standing in here doing it. This is about you having to answer to yourself later. So let’s get this done. Stand up and put your mouth guard back in.
Ring the damn bell.
~~~~~~~~~~
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Great analogy! But I have to admit I’m curious as hell about who/what dealt the sucker punch! And I’m glad you’re back on your feet.
Thanks, Roxanne. Yes, I’m definitely feeling better than I was.
Cleverly done, Lisa. I’m sorry life’s thrown you a big one. I hope things are a bit better this week x
Thanks, Kimmie. I suppose in the larger scheme of things it’s not the worst thing ever. But yeah, things are better. Guess I needed to lick my wounds for a bit. 🙂
Sounds like a time of EPIC suck, but a great attitude to come back with, and I hope it’s a punch you can anticipate and avoid another time.
Epic suck is a good description. I admit my attitude was pretty poor initially, but I’ve adjusted. I certainly hope it’s not something I have to encounter again.
I know what one of those sucker punches feels like Lisa and it left me shattered. Things have sorted themselves out but I still feel like a bit of me broke off and won’t ever be the same again. We get back up and we keep fighting the good fight and we get stronger and braver – that is the balance I think. Don’t let the baddies win!
You’re absolutely right, Leanne. We live and learn and get tougher as we go. And the way you describe it as balance really makes sense. Some situations and some people are just really crappy. I think what bothered me most (after the integrity issue) is that I should’ve seen it coming. In retrospect I guess I did. I like to believe that people are good and honorable and so I guess it caught me by surprise.
Metaphorical ass. Haha. I love that.
You are a champ, a pro, but a knock like that can really shake a person. Whatever it was, whomever, you paint a very clear picture of how you’ve felt. Sucks wen life does this, maybe assuming you’re the one who can handle whatever happens, because it’s hard to be that person. I know. Hope you have an easier time ahead.
There were a few other rude words I wanted to use in this. I left those in the first-draft rant. 😀
I am certainly not going to let one bad situation knock me out of the game, but every now and then things happen that really throw you for a loop. It IS hard sometimes to shake it off, but we have to. Thanks for your awesome words of support. 🙂
Looking back I often realize that the punch did come from “somewhere” put it takes a while to see. Beautifully written.
Oh, absolutely, Anna. I can see clearly how the whole thing started – now. 😀 And thank you.
Love the way this was written! I believe, at some point in life, we all suffer a sucker punch of some kind. I had mine when I was young and dumb, but decided to put the gloves back on and power through. This is what makes for a good fighter (character). Hopefully, you come out of the ring smarter, stronger and carry the wisdom to help others. That’s a Champ!
Thanks, Laurie. I think the only way we truly lose in life is we if we stay on the mat and don’t get up and try again. I’m a firm believer that failure is a learning opportunity and heartbreak as well. We learn how to be smarter and stronger, as you said.
Wow. This was a great way to start off my morning. I feel “Eye of the Tiger” gradually fading in from the background. Sorry to hear you had a suckerpunch experience lately, but hells yeah – keepbon keeping on!
Heh – I was thinking of that song, too, when I was searching for images. Thanks for reading – glad it made your morning!
Amen, amen!! I’ve had my share of knock-downs from out of nowhere like this. It does indeed take your breath away and make you feel like your head is going to explode!! But yes, after mulling it over a bit to see what can be learned, stand up, and begin again. Always begin again. The soreness will go away, and next time you will be a bit wiser and more prepared to avoid such blows. HUGS
Always begin again – yes! And thanks for the hugs. It’s not like I’ve never had a blow or a setback in life. This just bothered me. But hey, it got some writing out and that can’t be a bad thing!
Wow. Now I’m super curious what happened – but you’re right, just get up, dust yourself off and start over fresh. Great post.
That’s all you can do, right? And I know that. But this was kind of a blow to my pride and I think that’s what bothered me so much. That and I was blind to what was probably obvious in the first place.
Anyway, thanks for the advice to use it to write – that’s why I did! 🙂
That is fantastic. I love writing when I’m angry.
I may remember that and try more often. 😀
Those sucker punches hurt. Really badly at first. I’m glad to hear you are recovering and getting on with things. That isn’t an easy thing to do.
Thanks, Christine. Proof the art we are never too old to learn a life lesson or two.
Great metaphor and apt. You can do it!
😉
Sorry you’re going through this, Lisa. The worst part of getting knocked down this way is that you invariably end up blaming yourself for not seeing that one coming. The good news is that you can talk yourself out of regrets and work on getting back on your feet again.
Hugs.
Yes, Corinne. Exactly. I did that for a few days, then I decided that was most assuredly not showing myself compassion. But it’s so easy to slip into that, isn’t it?
Thanks for the hugs! 🙂
You’re an amazing writer and you’ve also made me want to punch somebody. LET ME AT ‘EM!
Thank you, Dyanne. For thinking I am an amazing writer and for wanting to punch someone on my behalf. I <3 you!
Oy! I LOVE how you used the countdown. That’s awesome. You’re right, it’s all about heart. And sounds like you have a plethora of that. I really, really want the inside scoop here, but I’ll respect the whole ethical part of the non-disclosure.
Thanks, Julie. It was hard to write this without making it mysterious, I know. I just think that some parts of it aren’t mine to divulge, you know? Just the part that affects me.
I hope I have a lot of heart – I believe I do. Because I’m not about to let something like this keep me from moving forward.