Why I Can’t Tell You My #1000Speak Topic
I have so many things to say about compassion.
And yet I can’t speak.
I am stunned at the response to the 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion initiative and am so excited to be a part of it. And yet, since we launched the effort about a month ago I haven’t had much to say here about the whole thing.
It’s not that I haven’t said anything. My Husband can tell you that he’s been listening to me talk for the last month. And he’s been part of it too, providing music for the #1000Speak Call to Action video and rallying some musician friends of his to post compositions. But mostly he’s been listening to me rant about how I can’t do it.
It’s not for lack of desire. I love this. I love everything about it. And I want to talk about it and spread it and see it grow even greater than it already has. The problem is that little voice inside me that says, “You can’t.”
It’s true. There is a little part inside that has been nagging at me for weeks, goading me with questions: What makes you think you have a right to speak on compassion? What makes you think you aren’t a hypocrite? Surely you must realize that you have been uncompassionate at times in your life? Exactly who do you think you are?
I’ll tell you who I think I am. I am someone who has been uncompassionate at times in my life. I am someone who feels that speaking out about compassion when I have not always shown compassion to others just might make me seem a hypocrite.
But I’ll also tell you that the reason I think I have a right to speak on compassion is precisely because I have seen what a lack of compassion does. I have seen what my own lack of compassion has done to others, to my relationships, and to myself. I have felt what a lack of compassion does. I have felt what others’ lack of compassion has done to me, to my family, and to those who have not shown us compassion. It hurts. It destroys. It divides.
I will tell you that I have a right to speak about compassion because I have learned – and am still learning every single day – about the great power in a simple act of compassion and kindness. I will not tell you that I am compassionate to those around me every day. I am not. I am human and I do fail in that regard. I am still learning. We all are.
It is often said that what goes around comes around. Call it karma or retribution or whatever you like, but I believe it’s true. We can try and reason to the bottom of things or rationalize our thoughts and actions. Are we uncompassionate because others have not shown compassion to us? Or are others uncompassionate to us because we have not shown compassion?
Either way, it’s a vicious cycle of rationalization. Either way, we all lose.
And so with at least that much said, I can tell you now that I will speak on February 20th. My topic for the big day, and perhaps other days leading up to it, will be about self-compassion, forgiveness, and relationships. To make an impact, we have to start with one small thing.
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On February 20, 2015, United Nations World Day of Social Justice, one thousand bloggers will join their voices to speak through their blogs about compassion. I will be one of them.
Join us, won’t you? There is still time and it only takes a little of yours.
Visit the 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion Facebook page. Sign up to add your blog post to the effort.
Ask to join the 1000 Voices for Compassion Facebook group.
Use the hashtag #1000Speak to promote this event on Twitter, Instagram, and everywhere.
And if you don’t have a blog or aren’t on Facebook or social media? We’ve got you covered. Visit the #1000Speak for Compassion blog and join in.
Write a post, send a tweet, share an article, video, or image that shows compassion at work. Share the 1000 Voices Speak for Compassion Call to Action video.
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Join us. Help make all of our voices heard.
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47 Comments
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*grins* FABULOUS share. You and I are approaching this from much the same angle, it seems 🙂
OH BOOM! FRIST! *happydances*
YEAH Baby – BOOM FRIST! That’s better than a regular frist.
I woulda gone with a Super Acme BOOM! FRIST, but I thought that might scare you…
That would be a little scary, given that it was like 4:30 in the morning here. 😀
Oh I’m glad it’s a fabulous share. And yes, I saw that. I no sooner hit publish then I hopped over and read yours and was like…DAYum. Great minds think alike and great hearts beat the same.
I think we’re pretty similar in many ways. Stands to reason that we’d both think of the same thing in this way. Something we both need to work on, I guess. *sigh*
Off to listen to Sara Bareilles about a bajillion times…
I have it on repeat at the moment. Zilla is dancing. 🙂
Im sure there isn’t a person among us who couldn’t identify with this. “Oh the humanity! ” we are all flawed and in your willingness to accept and change you become divine. I suspect even the divine must be flawed as well ….it allows for greater continued understanding. Thanks for writing this! So honest.
BOOM! SECOND! HAHAHA!
Go you! Ah, the advantages of those who never sleep…
Took me many many days to find the words I wanted. It’s going to be brutal.
Damn…Not even! THRID?
Nope – Val’s third. Unless Douglas is second…
First is the worst. Second is the best. Third is the one with the treasure chest (or hairy chest) dependent on which grade you’re in.
What an honest look at compassion. And the self-growth that all the soul searching has brought you is apparent. We are all human, are not always compassionate. That’s a reason there, to be self-compassionate. Can’t wait to read your post, Lisa.
It’s a tough one. Probably one of the toughest yet for me to write. I’m hoping it turns out the way I’m seeing it in my mind’s eye.
ahhahahahha! As second I can honestly say…no hairy chest here! NOW my perimenopausal chin….
Yeah, this is exactly what I want to read while I’m eating breakfast…nice. 😀
Hahaha snort hahaha!
OI! I SAW THAT! :p
This is great, Lisa and so relevant to ALL of us. We are all human, flawed and have lacked compassion at times. I’m glad you (and Lizzi) are going to write about self compassion. I wish you could see yourselves through the eyes of others – then you would recognize how special you are, but you can’t so exploring the topic of self compassion is the next best thing. I’m looking forward to reading your post on the 20th.
Thanks, Jen. Did I come across as not seeing myself positively? Wow, I really am tougher on myself than I think! My Husband tells me that all the time. I do know that I’m special and good and also human. I spent my time beating myself up about things in the past, things others do or have done, things I can’t change. But I am also still so hard on myself about so many things. I don’t do self-compassion all that well. and that’s where this one is coming from – acknowledging that we are all good and special and deserving of credit for what we have done and how much we’ve grown. But I think anyone who says they don’t have moments where they question themselves, question their worth is probably not being quite honest. I think a lot of us could be better at being as compassionate with ourselves as with the world around us. I hope this comes out the way I’m feeling it.
What Lisa said.
Funny, self-compassion is going to be my 2/20 post for 1000 Voices, too. 🙂 And I was thinking of that concept as I was reading your article, saying to myself, “Awwww, she shouldn’t be so hard on herself! She’ll think of something.” And then when you announced your topic at the end, I couldn’t help but smile.
It’s a scary thing to be blogging about such an impactful, wide-ranging topic. When I first heard about the movement, I knew I wanted to be involved. Yet I panicked. I wasn’t sure what I should blog about, whether people would be interested in reading what I’d have to say, or (like you said) what right I had to write about compassion in the first place. Maybe it’s because the scope of the concept of compassion itself is so massive, and everyone feels as though they’re not kind or empathetic enough or have somehow contributed to society’s ills. But if we’re more conscious of compassion and we talk about it more often, maybe we’ll instill the idea of compassion into our brains and then act that way more often – and therefore make the world a better place.
Looking forward to reading your take on self-compassion on the 20th! 🙂
Sara, I’ve seen quite a large handful of folks who are planning to write on self-compassion. Clearly, it’s a common thread!
It is scary to talk about such a huge topic. The thoughts you’ve shared here are exactly the ones I’ve had. I think we all want to do good and make a positive impact on the people around us and on the world. And the truth is that we all probably have contributed to society’s ills in some way, whether large or small. If we can recognize that and accept that it’s part of our human nature, then we can come to terms with it and move on. None of us is perfect. If we were, there would be no #1000Speak movement at all, would there?
Self-examination is never a bad thing. I kind of like the idea of bloggers saying “hey, I’ve screwed up and I’m flawed but I’d like to share it and maybe someone can help me grow from it.” Connection.
I’m completely intrigued by the title of your recent post about compassion in literature – I am definitely hopping over to read that!
OH gosh Lisa, this is just so beautiful and honest!! This speaks to EVERYONE’S hearts! Who is compassionate ALL the TIME? I too, have had many moments of selfishness, protectiveness, defensiveness, and self pity… all leading to NOT being compassionate.
You wrote this so well, and I LOVE your perspective and insight into the hearts of us all. Thank you for exposing the reality, and also the hope behind this movement. I just love you.
Lets celebrate moments we HAVE been compassionate, and dedicate our lives to MORE of it.
Thanks, Chris. This was a tough one to write. I am a hugely private person and being that open is pretty scary territory for me. So thanks. But I just know that this is the direction I’m supposed to go with this effort. I hope that what I have here and what is yet to come speaks not only of what I feel about this, but will touch someone else’s.
I think you’re very right that we have to celebrate the moments when we do get it right and not dwell on those when we don’t.
And I just love you, too! 🙂
Self-awareness is such a beautiful thing and you’re a wonderful person!
Well, thanks, Roshni! 🙂 Self-awareness is a tough one for sure!
To acknowledge that there are times when we ourselves do not behave compassionately is, I guess the first step forward 🙂
Nice post Lisa 🙂
I’m waiting to hear what you’ve got to say on 20/02 🙂
Yes, so am I! 😀
I think it’s only fair to admit that while we may want to be, none of us is compassionate all of the time. The best we can do is strive to be so more often.
Compassion is like gratitude – most of us don’t have enough of it, would like more directed at us, and when we focus on it and are deliberate about it we get better at it.
Very true and well said, Shel.
Anything you write will be beautiful and eloquent. I look forward to your post.
I can’t decide if I have a topic yet or not, so no reveal for me!
I do hope so. And thank you. 🙂
This post is just perfect! As I was reading it, I was thinking, “But she can write about this, it’s exactly the kind of post we need next week!”And then you are going to write about self-compassion and forgiveness (self-forgiveness too?) What’s that thing Gandhi said – something about becoming who he was, rather than being it from the start. And Nelson Mandela was filled with hatred for his jailers at first, but he grew to forgive them.
We have all had our non-compassionate moments, and I don’t see it so much about being good or bad as simply that when we aren’t able to be compassionate with others it is because we don’t have enough compassion for ourselves. It’s certainly not hypocritical to write about compassion if you don’t always feel it, but I can definitely relate to your fear, because I have felt that way many times too! Believe it or not, even though I started this thing, there have been times when I’ve thought I’m not going to be able to come up with anything for the day! (But I will!)
I love, love, love that so many people are writing about self-compassion – it’s SO important. You may not have seen a post I wrote a while ago on my Inquiring Parent blog, but in it I wrote that after reading Kristin Neff’s book “Self Compassion” and applying some of what she suggested, the arguments in my family dropped hugely. So I totally agree with you that compassion breeds compassion.
Yvonne, thank you so much for your thoughts this morning. I am really going out on a limb with this one, I think, but it’s important to me. I think some of what you’ve said may help me along with my post quite well. I said something like that in a post recently (the Ghandi one) and now I can’t remember where but I’m going to have to find it. It’s perfect for what I’m trying to say.
I think we spend a lot of time labeling ourselves “good” or, more likely, “bad” in our own eyes and that just doesn’t serve anyone. Mostly, I think it begets particular behaviors. If we think we’re “bad,” then we expect ourselves to behave badly. I was a bit amazed to see so many others plan to write about self-compassion and at first I thought I had inadvertently jumped on some bandwagon of conformity. But then I realized that if that many of us have something to say about it, feel the need to write about it, then perhaps it’s a bigger problem than we know.
I’m very interested in that post you mention here and Kristin Neff’s book – I’m going to e-mail you about that.
I took Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion Quiz online while I was doing Brene Brown’s e-course for The Gifts of Imperfection over a year ago. I was so disappointed at my low-score! I’m much harsher on myself than I realized. We ALL need to practice self-compassion!
Indeed.
That damn little voice in our heads that knows which buttons to push! Damn that voice! I’ve learned that compassion, like gratitude, is a practice. It is something we have to work at on a daily basis. I’ve also learned (thanks to Brene Brown, my hero) that in order to have compassion for others, first you must learn to have compassion for yourself. She has a whole chapter about it in one of her books. One of my favorite take-aways from her was “Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love.” So easy to say, but so hard to do! I hadn’t joined the movement, due to the little voice in my head saying that I’m not a seasoned-enough blogger, but you have inspired me to join. THANK YOU!!!
Jackie, I am far from seasoned! You jump right in and be part of it – don’t let that voice tell you not to.
I like the line you shared here from Brown about talking to ourselves the way we would talk to someone we love. I am very guilty of speaking harshly to myself, even when I know I’d never speak to someone else the same way. Why do we do that to ourselves? I suspect we all have different reasons, but we do. So I guess that’s part of why I’ve chosen that for my topic for the #1000Speak effort. It’s important.
That’s gonna be my topic too. 🙂 It’s the area of compassion I struggle most with. Can’t wait to read and share!! Thanks for your unending encouragement!!
Anytime.
I imagine that you’d be a good candidate to speak on compassion. It comes out in your writing and I think you embody that characteristic well. But that little voice in your head screaming, “NO!” can be so compelling, can’t it? I’ve been there. Just ignore your voice and keep telling yourself that you have every right to write about it. I think you’ll be good at it. I’ve never heard of this UN initiative before, but it looks interesting. I’ll have to look into it more and see if I should do it too.
Steve, that is really kind of you to say. Thank you.
The #1000Speak is not actually a UN thing – we picked the UN World Day of Social Justice because it was so fitting. The two things just go hand in hand. I’m going to e-mail you info in case you decide to join in – it’s coming up quickly, but it’s not too late!
[…] posted my #1000 Speak topic for the February 20th, blog blitz and I was delighted that both Lisa and Lizzi are working on the same topic as I am but from different angles. Which leads me to my […]
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